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Editor’s Note: I almost re-titled Nicole’s post, “How To Get A Guy.” So much of our single and dating conversations revolve around being content on our own, but it’s also necessary that we start a conversation on the way to date.
Today’s post is written by Nicole Cottrell over at Modern Reject. This post could go into a million different directions.
She tweets at @Modern Reject and has a pretty some pretty blunt (and much needed) advice on dating. The topic of “singledom” is always a hot one, especially in Christian circles.
To those who are married, “dating” sounds almost like a four letter word.
My skin kinda crawls and I think, “Man, I’m so glad over.” Terrible, right?
I mean, I don’t know many Christians who actually enjoy dating. Go to parties, hang out with friends in group settings, get to know other single people.
They are so focused on “finding the right one” and “hearing from God” and looking out for “lightning in the sky” that they suck all the fun out of it. Why is it that so many single Christians turn dating into some kind of checklist and interviewing process? Here’s a tip girls: if you have a checklist, look it over, count up all those necessary character traits, then crumple it up and chuck it in the trash bin—’cause that’s where it belongs. He cares about your holiness and whichever man can help grow you in the holiness department will be on God’s list. And here’s a scandalous idea that I’m sure someone will disagree with, but oh well: I don’t mean wear a push-up bra and sit on his lap.
I also always hear girls saying things like, “I want a man to pursue me.” Well, that’s swell. Except that the girls spouting this line are then the same girls who sit on the sidelines and don’t do anything while expecting to get a date. I mean smile, be interested, be interesting, ask questions, touch his shoulder, laugh at his jokes. There is also a camp among Christians who fear dating.
They think it will turn into a tempting situation (which it could), or that God hasn’t “called” them to date anyone (which may be true).
More often than not, though, guys are chickening out and pulling the ol’ “I’ve kissed dating goodbye” bit. Want to join us & pass this along to other women in your life?
In order to have kissed dating goodbye, you have to have actually dated. And God may not be calling you to date someone in particular, but that doesn’t mean that He has said to not date anyone at all. Over-thinking it leads to discontent single people who wonder when and where the “right one” is, instead of going on a date to actually find out. What are, or were, your frustrations with the Christian dating scene? Follow Good Women Project on Twitter: @goodwomenproj Be a fan on Facebook: facebook.com/goodwomenproject Subscribe to our email newsletter for insider updates here or subscribe to the blog here. Everyone on our team is volunteer, and we are funded 100% by you. We're also doing fun stuff on Tumblr, Instagram, and Pinterest!
Dating, also, does not inevitably lead to marriage. May: What No One Told Me About Marriage June: Body Image & Beauty July: Let's Talk About Sex Some More August: From The Men: What They Want, Need & Love September: Making The Most Of Being Single October: Dating: Mistakes I Made November: Pornography December: What I Learned In 2011 January: Emotions: What Do I Do With Them?
Many people refuse to get a cup of coffee with someone of the opposite sex for fear that sipping a caffeinated beverage is a precursor to chapel bells and flower girls. February: Your Dating & Valentines Day Stories March: Open Letters From Men To Women April: Boundaries May: Rape & Unwanted Sex June: The Working Woman July: Ask A Married Woman August: All Hot Topics!
Just because you went on a (as in ‘singular’) date with someone does not mean they are the person you are going to marry. September: Friendships We are currently accepting and publishing submissions on all topics.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating