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'We have sex, we chat, we go back to our families,' Sheila tells me over a cappuccino.'I'm not looking for a soul mate, I'm looking for physical release. The girls were small and sex with him had long been just another chore, like loading the dishwasher.

The two most famous adulteresses in fiction, Madame Bovary and Anna Karenina, came to sticky ends: one poisoned herself, the other threw herself under a train.

But today the guilt that tormented these classic heroines is largely missing.

Thousands of women like Sheila are enjoying what they believe to be no-strings flings. Some of my friends ride, some sing in choirs, I have Michael.' The number of people having affairs is impossible to know, as few are truthful about their sex lives, but the recent Way We Are Now nationwide survey conducted by Relate showed that 34 per cent of women respondents admitted to being unfaithful, compared with 32 per cent of men.

One of the challenges Sheila hadn't expected was where to hide her sexy lingerie.

'I went out and spent a fortune at Myla on gorgeous transparent bras and G-strings – things I'd stopped wearing for my husband, Peter, even before we were married.

'The problem was where to keep them and how to wash them?

I could have worn them every day but after 13 years of greying M&S pants and flesh-coloured bras Peter would have been rightly suspicious.

I ended up stuffing all my new buys inside the legs of a manky old tracksuit.

I washed them by hand, locked in the bathroom, and dried them with a hairdryer as I didn't dare hang them up.' Tall, strong-featured and dressed in a cashmere sweater and wool trousers, Sheila is the kind of woman you see in the aisles of Waitrose, the front row of the school carol service.

But once every fortnight or so she tells Peter, 48, a company director, that she's meeting a (well-briefed) girlfriend for dinner.

Instead she goes to a motel room to see her lover, Michael, also 46, a medical sales rep whom she met at a conference.

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