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He opens up about his own post-divorce dating experiences and shares his thoughts on what all men who are out there looking for love again should know.
After your divorce, what was your attitude about finding love again?
At the beginning, I think I was in denial about my impending singlehood.
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My realization that my marriage was over came the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and the holiday season was a drag.
I felt almost empty—the first night alone in the new apartment was bearable only because I was numb.
It was an out-of-town trip for Christmas that snapped me out of my funk.
I had a conversation with a divorced friend who was joyfully involved in a new relationship, which gave me confidence that getting back on the dating scene could prove joyful for me, too. What did you find surprising about dating in mid-life? The most surprising realization was how much easier the process had become in the 20 or so years since I had last been involved in it.
The second time around, it was much more obvious to me whether a woman was interested in me or not, so that a lot of the coy dancing around the issue had disappeared.
In fact, as I look back, I can recognize that there were several women who sought me out, and I was too stupid to realize it.
Also surprising was that I felt much more comfortable with dating and with myself than I had been before.
The positive reactions of attractive and intelligent women to me were very flattering; it made me feel so much more attractive than I had in my early twenties.
This may have been because I was established professionally and had that reservoir of confidence.
Really, the whole scene was new, interesting, and, for the most part, enjoyable.
With one woman in particular, I did hiking and other activities that I hadn’t done in years, and in general I saw a great many more movies than I had when I was married.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating