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So I did what any hurt, pissed off, independent woman would do. Then I promptly ate an enormous quantity of Fluff smeared on graham crackers while seeking consolation in my roommate.But I stored the container of Fluff in my cupboard where I could see it as a reminder that if you settle for a sugary, artificially flavored substitute for love- that is what you will have.And I have to say that life post-Fluff has been pretty good.
But in order to do this I had to learn to stop talking myself into men who were wrong for me and have the patience and faith to believe that the right one would come along. Do not live off the illusion that you can make him into your dream man.
Then, when he did, I focused on compatibility and not on seeing if my honed tactics could mold him into what I wanted and needed. And remember, relationships that form fast often fade fast.
So, ladies, instead of suiting up in your warrior gear to battle the savage task of changing a man, take your time and carefully examine if you are compatible and if he is what you want. But take heart, I am testament that relationships that consist of and end with Fluff, can lead to love.
For those of you who are unaware, Fluff is a gooey white substance that has the consistency of a melted marshmallow.
It can be spread on bread alone or with peanut butter, thus creating the "Fluffer Nutter" sandwich. We can make Shrek look like a gentleman worthy of the GQ cover if we really try.
Though good, it is rather un-filling and void of any nutrients, which exactly describes my relationship with him. The truth is, when we want someone to be right for us, we will believe that he is to the point of breaking.
We will flex, forgo, give, forgive, and, I cringe as I say this word, settle.
Yes, we settle for men who do not give us what we need. It is not as if we go into a relationship wanting to settle.
I realize that some women have a hard time with believing that their needs should be met, either by what they have been taught or how they view themselves, but the fact remains that if your needs, however simple or farfetched they may be, are not being met in a relationship, you will never be happy. The problem is that somewhere along the way we forgot that the whole point of dating is to see if we are compatible with someone and started to believe that it was our personal quest as women to miraculously and valiantly change the wrong man into the right one. Well, sometimes with the simplest gestures we gain profound insight.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating